The Marrow of Life…

“Live deep and suck out the marrow of life..”
Henry David Thoreau in Walden


Thoreau challenged us to experience life deeply in all its excitement, wonder and glory. Don't float on the surface. Dive deep. Live intensely. Love powerfully.

There are 3 of us wannabe hot rods who frequent the gym, pumping away at the irons or burning the rubber until our bones ached. In the course of my usual 1 ½ hours in the gym, there were countless times when I just feel like throwing in the towel, literally, and hit the shower. I would have been well justified as it is not easy to do a full workout after a day at work and I am sure my other gym buddies felt the same. One of them works as a ice-cream distributor and he clocks hundreds of miles in a day. Another is an entrepreneur with a string of companies under his belt. I am sure they have a more demanding day than me. In fact it is never easy to be in the gym for anyone. There are just so many other things one can do instead of sweating it out. So many other pleasant things like a couple of cold beers for instance or a comfortable sofa with a TopGear and a drink in hand. One of my gym buddies usually ends his final set of weights with an expletive….not sure at what or whom that is targeted at but it usually signals a good workout for him. A good workout for me is when my sweat clouds my vision. A good workout is one that takes you to the edge; when you feel your heart is going to explode or when you feel your arms are just going to give away and yet you could push your self for one more minute or one more set of weights. And….that is when I sometimes feel that I have sucked the marrow of my live for all its worth. It is indeed worth all that effort as somebody once said -you don’t pay the price but rather enjoy the price of doing things that you otherwise would rather not. Later, as I hit the shower and wash away the sweat of the work-out and the day’s physical, mental and emotional pains and aches, the subsequent feeling of relief and ‘achievement’ can be a seductive catharsis. It is that feeling of achievement and subsequent flow of warm soothing relief that I crave for. Strangely, I find my self being more vigorous and pushing my self harder in the gym on days when work seem mundane and lacking of any particular challenge to satisfy my craving for ‘worthwhile and meaningful endeavors’.

Now, it seems to me that this is what management consultants the world over (like yours truly) tell their clients whether in their one-on-one relationships, in seminars or in workshops. Manage and Lead like you are sucking at the marrow of life. Do things with such focused intent and purpose that what you do brings out the best out of your people and adds the greatest value to your organization. Push your mental and emotional energy to the edges of human endurance BUT don’t break. Keep your cool. Manage with a smile and loads of wisdom. Create a friendly atmosphere and be a magnet for those seeking advise and guidance. Grow others, leave a legacy, build a winning team. Defeat your fears and walk on fires, literally.

Usually in a workshop, I can get my clients excited about the prospect of managing and leading as deeply as sucking at the marrow of life. But I also know that the positive feeling lasts until the next morning when they step into their offices and the first nasty email from a customer pops up or hears what a new and arrogant young staff says or whatever. At that exact point in time, their managing and leading becomes less than experiencing the marrow of life. All that energy and motivation dissipates into thin air. And that's why in fact, I have christened this blog as First Coffee. It is to remind my self, my participants and clients that they should not get excited with what I say and what we discuss and get all fired up and feel a great sense of energy; just like what you feel as the first gulp of your morning coffee goes down your throat. Then, when the first irritant hits the face, that feeling vaporizes. The idea is to keep repeating that experience of a first coffee through out the day, to keep sucking at the marrow of life throughout your day at the office. Keep feeling that warm soothing sensation throughout the day. It is possible.

In my experience there is only one thing that can make that happen : Your Values.

The marrow of our lives is in our VALUES. It is not in the way we live. Definitely not in the accessories that we surround ourselves with. It is to be found in WHY we life? Go find them and/or make them. Never just accept them. Once they are identified use it for everything, for every single interaction, decision and action. Find jobs and companies that are aligned to those values. Make it as a basis for dealing with the easiest of problems and toughest of the challenges. Drink it through-out the day and that first coffee feeling should creep back and spread soothing warmth and calmness down your spine.

Know that each time you loose that first coffee feeling, you are probably doing something incongruent with your values. Trace back, make corrections, say your piece; and go home knowing that you have been true to your values.

Do yourself and everybody else a favour - don’t get a job to pay the bills as you will soon pay the price. Get a job that fulfills you and you will find it pays the bills and more. Also, if for whatever reasons you find that your values are no longer aligned to that of the organization or vice versa – leave honorably and on a position of strength and truth. There are too many of us stuck in our seats and lamenting how ‘wrong’ that seat feels. Go find a better seat. There always is one that will fit you perfectly. You will find that the fit is usually more to do with a fit of values than anything else.

In my line of work, it gives me a great sense of comfort knowing that at the highest levels of our organizations, our leaders have their hearts at the right places. They do indeed focus on the values of the organizations. Making a profit is a given. How that profit is made will make the difference between a lasting and benevolent organization and a short-living and selfish entity. Again, as I said earlier, it is not what life we live but rather how we live it.

The how is always answered by our values. I salute each and every individual whom I come across on a daily basis who continue to suck at the marrow of live by living their values and constantly having that first coffee feeling at work.